


Roses

by thevalesofanduin



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: But there's actually a bit of fluff, It starts sad, M/M, Thorin/Frerin is in the past though, but also angst, prompt-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 23:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thevalesofanduin/pseuds/thevalesofanduin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erebor had been reclaimed, the company had survived and when Dis was to arrive in less than a week’s time, Thorin would – finally – be crowned king. But being in Ererbor isn't the same without Frerin by his side and it is slowly eating away at Thorin. And then there are his nephews. The pair of which remind Thorin of his late brother more than they should.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roses

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Werecakes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werecakes/gifts).



> Prompt for my holiday prompt fest!  
> Song was [Roses by Poets of the Fall](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KS2b1eSWUdo) and requested pairings were Thorin/Frerin and Thorin/Fili/Kili.

_So when I'm crying alone  
Yeah, when I'm cold as a dying stone_

_Grow me a garden of roses_  
Paint me the colors of sky and rain  
Teach me to speak with their voices  
Show me the way and I'll try again 

This was it.

Erebor had been reclaimed, the company had survived and when Dis was to arrive in less than a week’s time, he would – finally – be crowned king.

King of Erebor.

King under the lonely mountain.

And how lonely it was indeed.

Aye, he had his treasure, his company, his nephews and, in a week’s time, his sister.

But he would never regain what he had lost so long ago.

He’d buried it, the love he’d had for his brother locked away, burned away at the same time they had lit Frerin’s lifeless body after the battle.

But in Erebor there were many memories. Too many. Every corner he turned, every room he entered. There would always be a memory of Frerin.

And then there were his nephews.

His loyal, sweet and _precious_ nephews.

But he couldn’t look at them anymore. Couldn’t talk to them anymore. Not here in Erebor where the two of them together were so like Frerin.

Fili with his strong facial features and blond hair. Kili with his joking and easy personality and that gorgeous smile seen more often than not.

It hurt Thorin.

Made him long for something long gone.

Made him greedy for something he could _never_ have.

His nephews weren’t Frerin. Could never replace Frerin.

But the worst thing was that Thorin didn’t want them to. He didn’t care for them so much because of their resemblance to his late brother and lover. No, he wanted them.

Just them.

He knew he never could.

They had each other. There was no need for him and he didn’t want to do that to them. His memories, his sadness, his greed. He would surely ruin them and he just couldn’t.

So he watched.

Watched and watched and pushed them away.

\---

“Thorin.”

When his name was called, Thorin looked up from the paper he was looking at – not seeing anything, mind too occupied by other things. 

Balin was looking at him with a sad smile.

While he hadn’t told his long time friend and advisor what was on his mind, he had a feeling Balin knew. 

“Maybe we should adjourn for the day.” Balin said, rolling the scroll in his hands until it was closed. He put it down onto the desk and after a moment reached out his hand to place it atop of Thorin’s. “Get some rest, Laddie.”

Thorin sighed, looking down at the desk and shaking his head. “It’s not going to change anything.”

Balin squeezed Thorin’s hand before pulling away with a sigh. “’M afraid it will have to. I hate to say this, Thorin. We have been friends for so long, but I am saying this as both your friend and advisor, it _must_ change. You will be king in a week’s time, Thorin. Your people need _you_. Not your memories, not your grief. However unfair it may be.” Balin shook his head.

“Unfair, aye, but true.” Thorin said, knowing his friend was right. It wasn’t that the past days he hadn’t tried to change, to build his walls up high again and slip back into his mask.

He would just have to try harder.

He stood up and gave Balin a nod. “I shall rest, for now. We will continue tomorrow anew, when both of us feel… better.”

He rounded the table and opened the door. Just before he left the room he heard his friend mumble: “I’m sorry.”

He couldn’t help but return: “As am I.”

\---

He knew he should go to his room. That he should order some food, take a bath and drown his sorrows in ale or something stronger. That afterwards he should go to bed, wake up in the morning and pretend he had never been in love with his brother and that his nephews were merely his nephews. 

He knew that that was the right thing to do.

Instead, he went to the one room he had spent all of his nights in so far. The one room which after tonight, he would lock and never return to.

Tonight, for the last time, he would spend the night in Frerin’s room.

 

The moment he entered the room he sensed something was wrong.

For he was met with a soft breeze and soft noises were carried on that same wind. It wasn’t possible, for while Frerin’s room did have a balcony – which was special to Frerin’s room as his brother had very unlike any other dwarf loved roses, which he’d grown on his balcony – Thorin kept the doors closed. He never went to the balcony, for his brother and him had spent many hours there, Frerin caring for his roses and Thorin admiring his brother.  
He tensed straight away, hand reaching for his sword and he was filled with rage when he threw open the door. 

How _dare_ someone trespass into Frerin’s room!

He stepped inside, door slamming close behind him but when he saw who exactly was in the room, he froze.

The balcony doors were indeed opened and in the doorway, body and shocked eyes turned to Thorin, was Fili. Not just Fili, for squatted down on the ground, looking at Thorin in equal shock yet hands still buried in dark sand was Kili.

“Uncle!” Kili was the first to react. He stood up, brushing his hands against his pants and dirt falling to the ground as he stepped forward and into Frerin’s rooms.

Fili stepped inside as well, watching Thorin with worried yet gentle eyes. “You are early.”

Thorin lowered his sword, a frown on his face and his heart clenching. Oh how could fate be so cruel as to let his nephews be here?

“Why are you here?” He demanded, voice harsh and angry, the only reaction he knew how to give. His hands were trembling, so he clenched them into fists, watching his nephews and almost anxiously waiting for their answer.

“We – uncle, are you all right?” Kili started, easily distracted from his answer by his uncle’s sudden pale visage and clenched fists. He made his way over to Thorin, Fili following at his heels, and both brothers stood in front of their uncle.

“Thorin?” Fili asked, lifting a hand to caress Thorin’s cheek. 

Thorin shuddered as Fili called him by his name, yet flinched away from his eldest nephew’s touch. 

Fili gasped, looking at him with a hurt frown and Kili was biting his lip in his signature nervous gesture.

Thorin looked at them, eyes wide and feeling like a caged animal.

They were young.

They were his nephews.

Surely they had no idea what they were doing.

“I am fine.” He rasped. “Why are you here?”

A slightly annoyed smile flickered on Kili’s face and he shrugged. “Guess it’s ruined now.”

Fili sighed. “Too bad,” he complained and then sent Thorin an accusing glance. “You are back early, uncle. Your meeting with Balin wasn’t supposed to be over yet.”

Stunned at their evasion of such a simple question, Thorin muttered: “We adjourned for the day.” 

A few seconds of silence stretched between them. Long enough for Thorin to – sort of – get his thoughts back in order. “Now why are you boys here?” His voice dropped to a soft, sad tone as he added: “You know no-one is allowed here.”

Kili looked down guiltily. “We know,”

“But we are here for you.” Fili finished, smiling slightly, hopeful.

Thorin frowned. He took in Fili’s hopeful look, Kili’s slightly bashful smile and he stepped back. “Explain yourselves.” He demanded.

_Please,_ he prayed, _please don’t do this to yourselves._

Kili shrugged and Fili took his brother’s hand. Then Fili – who was better with words and always the responsible one – looked at Thorin. His eyes were sad, lips turned downwards but underneath the sad countenance Thorin could easily spot a tenderness and love a nephew shouldn’t have for his uncle.

His heart clenched at the sight and he wished he could shove the two boys – who had each other, everyone knew – out of the room and beg of them to never return – for they didn’t need Thorin as well.

Then, Fili took a breath and he glanced at Kili – who nodded – before both brothers looked at Thorin with heartfelt expressions. “We just wanted to do something for you… We know about… about Frerin and you are here so often yet you get sadder every day. And then you started ignoring us and… and it hurts.” Fili finished softly, eyes downcast.

Kili squeezed his brother’s hand, continuing where Fili had faltered. “So we wanted to do something that… makes you happy.” He took a quivering breath. “We’re sorry if it doesn’t.”

Thorin swallowed, lowering his eyes and unable to look at Fili and Kili.

He wasn’t as good a dwarf as everyone thought him to be. What his nephews were doing now, being nice, trying to get their way into his life in what was obviously a romantic way, he wouldn’t stop it. Part of him might be screaming he had to and, Mahal, he should! But he wasn’t that good a dwarf, he wasn’t that able to deny them – deny himself – and he knew that he shouldn’t ask them what he wanted to.

And yet he did.

“What did you want to do, exactly?”

Kili gasped and Fili raised his eyes, the hopeful gleam back into them again. “We heard that Frerin… well, that he used to have a rose garden on his balcony and that the both of you spent a lot of time there before… well, before. But it was dead and we just wanted to bring it back to life.”

“Boys…” Thorin murmured, feeling overtaken by emotions – love, happiness, gratefulness. It were feelings he hadn’t felt in a long time and he could only love his nephews more for it.

Suddenly Kili stepped forward, raising a hand and placing it against Thorin’s left cheek. “We love you, uncle.”

Thorin stood motionless, unable to move as Fili stepped forward as well.

Fili raised a hand of his own, mirroring Kili’s touch and now both brothers were looking at Thorin with loving eyes, their touches gentle. “We really do. And we know you do, too. Please Thorin. Let us make you happy.” He pleaded.

Thorin swallowed and closed his eyes. “We shouldn’t.” He whispered, voice begging.

“But we should! If it makes us happy…” Fili argued.

Kili leaned forward and kissed the edge of Thorin’s lips. “Please, uncle.”

“Yes, please.” Fili echoed and kissed the other corner of Thorin’s lips.

Thorin lowered his head, resting his forehead against the boys’ shoulders and he reached out his hands, embracing their shoulders and hugging them close. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

“We do.” Fili said, his hand slipping into Thorin’s hair.

“Happiness.” Kili explained, his own hand lowering until he had his fingers wrapped around Thorin’s neck.

“We need to talk about this.” Thorin said, a last resort. A last argument that wasn’t really an argument.

“We will.” Fili promised, leaning his head against Thorin’s. 

“Later.” Kili added, thumb rubbing against the skin of Thorin’s neck. 

Thorin sighed, basking in the warmth and love of his nephews. 

Later they would indeed talk. Talk a lot and perhaps there would also be some shouting but all would be good in the end.

Before that, though, they finished the rose garden on the balcony, planting the roses in remembrance of Frerin and in celebration of a new start.

But first Thorin clung to his nephews. 

His saviors, his loves.

His _happiness._


End file.
